Rants

Top 5 reasons why adding more and more muscle won’t increase your chances with the ladies

By September 24, 2010 12 Comments

I realise this is a male-centric post, but please bare with me. I promise there will be something in it for everybody. I’m also aware that it’ll ruffle feathers and piss some people off – that too, is fine. Opinions are like ar*e-holes—everyone has one, or is one (yes that’s me).

We always aim to improve

It’s part of our genetic code to be unsatisfied with our ‘current’ body no matter how big, strong or athletic it may be.

I’d argue that MORE guys would want bigger muscles regardless of what their current physique looks like.

But what about my goals?

Ok, so it’s great to have goals and aspirations, but how do we know when we’ve ACTUALLY reached our goals? Is there a little wooden man that pops out of a 1952 cuckoo clock and says to you:

“Hey tiny-nuts, you’ve finally hit your genetic peak. You’ve won the prize. Thanks for playing!”

Ok, so that hardly ever happens…

But if you wake up one day and discover that your thighs are rubbing when you walk, you’re all out of egg-whites and the extra-small tee you used to wear FINALLY needs to be upgraded to a large, then perhaps its time to ease-off on the mass-building (and possibly the steroids). For the very simple reason, your size is going to cause you more problems within your social sphere (particularly with the ladies) than you realise.

5 reasons why trying to get too big wont get you laid

Who’d you rather look like in the long term? (i realise the guy on the right looks like a douche)

These are the Top 5 reasons…

#1 Girls don’t rate guys that are too ‘big’

Have you ever been mistaken for a mini-van? Sure there are exceptions to the rule, but 9 out of 10 ladies (yes I made that up) would prefer their man to have a hollywood body (Taylor Lautner or Ryan Reynolds), than be jacked up like a condom full of walnuts.

Bulk and girth is apparently only desirable in the pants.

#2 Girls don’t like guys that have to constantly eat ALL of the time

Being ridiculously big means you have to EAT ridiculously big.

Do you find yourself scoffing down protein shakes at 3am and eating two t-bones in one sitting? This kind of behavior will annoy the sh*t out of your girl. Take it from me, I’ve been there.

The next time you’re staring at an over-loaded trolley full of chicken breasts in the supermarket and wondering how your going to turn that sh*t into palatable food for a week, you’ll know it’s time to ease-off a little.

#3 Girls dig a man with a neck

Necks are freakin important for gawking, turning to check your blind spot and for putting your head in the sand when someone writes a pointed article about you. Most girls i talk to equate a grossly thick neck and traps to a low IQ.

If you can shrug or shoulder press the Empire State Building, it’s probably time to skip the SECOND shoulder workout for the day, and just do the ONE.

#4 Girls like a man who’s in proportion

It’s always a surprise when you open up a small lunch-container to find a MASSIVE sandwich. This however, can’t be said when you open up the same said lunch-container to discover someone has forgotten to pack your lunch.

If your junk is suddenly resembling a button on a brick wall, it might be time to re-assess.

#5 Girls prefer to have bigger breasts than you do

I’m guessing there are exceptions to this rule too. However, if your pecs are dwarfing your lady’s fun-bags, it just might make her self-conscious enough to kick your ass to the curb. 

Metaphorically speaking, tough-guy. Yes I know you would physically win.

In summary…

If you AREN’T a pro body-builder, more than likely your reasons for becoming a mega-monster are based on what your mates are all trying to do. That’s called peer-pressure my friend.

Maybe to your friends you even seem ‘small’…

Just remember, whilst you’re out collecting booty and turning-down Hugo Boss shoots, your over-sized, thigh-rubbing friends will be at home either sleeping, eating or ‘knocking one out’ to add mass to their forearms.

Note: Actual Hugo Boss shoots, may not happen.

Editor’s Note: Believe it or not, even I was once told that I was ‘too big’. What are some other turn-offs caused by over-musculature? Comment below.

Clint Nielsen

Author Clint Nielsen

Clint is a dad and husband trying to stay in shape. He's also a highly opinionated fitness enthusiast and author of Reveal The Steel. Follow him on: Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and Google+

More posts by Clint Nielsen

Join the discussion 12 Comments

  • Every lady I have ever talked to about it has said the same.

    There’s a reason that most women don’t gawk at muscle mags, but will get wet when they see Ryan Reynolds on the cover of a girlie mag.

    You’re absolutely right, lean and cut is much better for the ladies than big and bulky.

    Great post, and very true.
    Talk soon,
    Ryan “The Fat Loss Informant”

  • Bryan says:

    Nice article. I was wondering something similar to this earlier in the week. “What will I do when I do reach my goal?” The answer came simple enough though.

    I would think that another turn off for the ladies is the fact that a pro body builder or an aspiring body builder spends WAY too much time at the gym or focusing on themselves. Honestly, I would be surprised if a body builder would even have a girlfriend. ( Where did they get the time? )

    Nice thinking Clint.

  • It’s hard as guys to accept that women don’t want the biggest, strongest male possible. I think it stems from our desire to feel dominant and the big guy who sticks out his chest can appear that way. For me personally, the initial desire to try to add significant muscle mass stems from the fact that I grew up on Arnold and Stallone movies. Fortunately I reversed my ways and aim for more of a Fight Club or Twilight body now.

  • That’s pretty funny stuff. I think most women would agree with you. I’m surprised how many girls get grossed out with excessive musculature, let alone the extreme steroid look. The other day a body builder came in the gym wearing skimpy shorts and he had the biggest legs I have ever seen! He could hardly walk. Everyone was staring and even laughing because he looked so crazy. I appreciate body building and a lot depends on personal preference, but there is definitely a time to say “ok, that’s enough”

  • Jordan says:

    Cool Topic. I think guys do get the wrong idea about what ladies want. Some girls no doubt are attracted to the big dudes, but I think your article is spot on. Most women want a man that can look good in a suit and regular clothes. Great point about the buff man boobs! I’ve never had a huge chest, but it must difficult to maintain. I like to think that the ideal body is able to look muscular without a shirt, but not so bulky that performing athletic moves is impossible. Like a golf swing for example. Big dudes look funny playing golf!

  • Wow,

    The picture looks like something that you would see in a Hulk Movie. It just looks so un natural to have muscles that big! What is going to happen to thier bodies when they reach 50, 60 or 70 years old?

  • Clint Nielsen says:

    @Ryan
    I’d actually argue that the guys on the front of muscle mags actually make us all look even better.

    @Bryan
    True story! the time and energy required to be truly dedicated to the sport requires a sh*tload of self-focus. Something the ladies would be none to happy with. I think the exception to the rule would come with a lady who is EQUALLY obsessed.

    @Dave
    I know what you mean — I aspired to be like SLy for a long, long time. I was actually shocked to discover that he was on HGH for a lot of the time during his hey-day.

    @Tom
    Absolutely. Looking like a freak just for the sake of it when you aren’t a competitor seems pointless, self-indulgent and potentially harmful to your social life.

    @Jordan
    Big dudes also look funny running, playing tennis and any activity that requires agility.

  • Clint-

    Classic post.

    I agree that women seem to prefer a leaner look vs. a roided bodybuilder type body.

    But who says having a certain type of body will get you more chicks? If you are very overweight or underweight, getting into decent shape will definitely improve your chances with the ladies. But beyond that, dropping down to that last 5% of bodyfat isn’t going to suddenly change how attractive you are to beautiful women.

    Just think of your own set of friends. Is the guy who is in the best shape ALSO the biggest mack?

    Usually not.

    What seems to make the difference, then?

    It seems like that the guy who has the most confidence will consistently attract and ‘seal the deal’ with women who, based on appearances, would be out of his league.

    And to me, obsessing over small changes in one’s body, thinking that getting just a little more shredded or buff will finally open the floodgates of booty, to me, this screams, “I don’t believe that I have anything to offer beautiful women. If I change my body, maybe they will like me more.”

    This, I feel, is starting at the wrong end of the stick.

    Anyways, great post!

    -Ian

  • Hilarious!!

    I think there is the right girl for the right guy and there is a bigger market for everyone. however the market for the Hollywood look is definitely bigger so its easier to sell in this market that in the more niche minivan look. I read yesterday that Jay Cutler (Mr Olympia) eats 5 pounds of fish a day and over 6500 calories to keep his mass… thats ridiculous!

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  • Ror-core says:

    A condom full of walnuts! Ahahahahaha!

  • jic1 says:

    “i realise the guy on the right looks like a douche”

    He also looks like he’s rubbing one out. Actually, so does the guy on the left. Exactly what kind of site are you running here?

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