Another week, another ridiculous pile of excrement. Today, I’m going to focus on the Power Plate.
As you can probably tell, The Power Plate is a sh*t-load of awesome
You can hold yourself in ANY one position and melt away the adipose fat around your belly AND shape your butt and thighs all in one masterful go! It’s so magically amazing, that you can practically lose fat and gain strength whilst eating a family size bucket of KFC.
Ok, so I MIGHT sound a little sarcastic right now, but that’s with good reason.
If you are a nano-second away from putting a down-payment on your first Vibrate Plate, you’d best go to the nearest mirror, slap yourself in the face repeatedly whilst reciting “I won’t buy stupid sh*t any more. Ever, ever, ever.”
What is the Power Plate?
The Power Plate is a vibrating platform that uses a technology called “Acceleration Training” to transmit waves of energy throughout the body, making your muscles contract faster. This helps your body do more “work” in less time (as in a full-body workout in 15 minutes), explains Power Plate master trainer, Kristy Wetherell. “Acceleration Training can increase your core strength, stability, coordination, power, speed, flexibility and mobility,” Wetherall says. “It can also increase post-exercise regeneration — all on a single machine.” Power Plate has also been found (apparently) to decrease cellulite, increase bone mineral density and reduce the severity of menstrual cramps.
Cost of The Power Plate
Why I don’t ‘buy it’
If you delve into their supposed ‘studies’ you’ll find they are flawed to the point of being meaningless. The creators even make bogus comparisons, and claim “Whole-body Vibration (WBV) has the potential to induce strength gain in knee extensors of previously untrained females to the same extent as resistance training at moderate intensity.”
Give me a freakin break.
So you’re saying there are no benefits of using a Power Plate at all?
If you’re an elderly or alarmingly obese person, SURE! Getting out of your chair and DOING ANYTHING AT ALL would definitely burn more calories than doing nothing.
Of course, you’d burn more fat if you were to set fire to that $5k on your living room floor.
– You get to spend all of the money you’ve been trying so hard to get rid of
– If you’re 100 years old or obese, it’s probably better than sitting on the couch.
– May strengthen your core
– May decrease cellulite, increase bone mineral density, stability, coordination, power, speed, flexibility and mobility, and reduce the severity of menstrual cramps.
– Probably cures cancer
– Doesn’t burn fat nor tone you up
– Doesn’t help you gain muscle
– May leave you feeling like you didn’t actually workout after a 15 minute session.
– It makes all your fat jiggle in unison like a gigantic choir of marshmallows.
– Costs a bomb
– Probably doesn’t cure cancer
Here’s a great article that adds fire to my argument. Like you really needed any?
The Healthy Skeptic: Madonna And The Power Plate Workout
Power Plate – ‘Advanced Vibration Technology’
Editor’s Note: What do you guys think of this device? Has anyone actually spent $5k+ on a Power Plate? Comment below.