Another week, another ridiculous pile of excrement. Today, I’m going to focus on the Power Plate.
As you can probably tell, The Power Plate is a sh*t-load of awesome
You can hold yourself in ANY one position and melt away the adipose fat around your belly AND shape your butt and thighs all in one masterful go! It’s so magically amazing, that you can practically lose fat and gain strength whilst eating a family size bucket of KFC.
Ok, so I MIGHT sound a little sarcastic right now, but that’s with good reason.
If you are a nano-second away from putting a down-payment on your first Vibrate Plate, you’d best go to the nearest mirror, slap yourself in the face repeatedly whilst reciting “I won’t buy stupid sh*t any more. Ever, ever, ever.”
What is the Power Plate?
The Power Plate is a vibrating platform that uses a technology called “Acceleration Training” to transmit waves of energy throughout the body, making your muscles contract faster. This helps your body do more “work” in less time (as in a full-body workout in 15 minutes), explains Power Plate master trainer, Kristy Wetherell. “Acceleration Training can increase your core strength, stability, coordination, power, speed, flexibility and mobility,” Wetherall says. “It can also increase post-exercise regeneration — all on a single machine.” Power Plate has also been found (apparently) to decrease cellulite, increase bone mineral density and reduce the severity of menstrual cramps.
Cost of The Power Plate
Why I don’t ‘buy it’
If you delve into their supposed ‘studies’ you’ll find they are flawed to the point of being meaningless. The creators even make bogus comparisons, and claim “Whole-body Vibration (WBV) has the potential to induce strength gain in knee extensors of previously untrained females to the same extent as resistance training at moderate intensity.”
Give me a freakin break.
So you’re saying there are no benefits of using a Power Plate at all?
If you’re an elderly or alarmingly obese person, SURE! Getting out of your chair and DOING ANYTHING AT ALL would definitely burn more calories than doing nothing.
Of course, you’d burn more fat if you were to set fire to that $5k on your living room floor.
– You get to spend all of the money you’ve been trying so hard to get rid of
– If you’re 100 years old or obese, it’s probably better than sitting on the couch.
– May strengthen your core
– May decrease cellulite, increase bone mineral density, stability, coordination, power, speed, flexibility and mobility, and reduce the severity of menstrual cramps.
– Probably cures cancer
– Doesn’t burn fat nor tone you up
– Doesn’t help you gain muscle
– May leave you feeling like you didn’t actually workout after a 15 minute session.
– It makes all your fat jiggle in unison like a gigantic choir of marshmallows.
– Costs a bomb
– Probably doesn’t cure cancer
Here’s a great article that adds fire to my argument. Like you really needed any?
The Healthy Skeptic: Madonna And The Power Plate Workout
Power Plate – ‘Advanced Vibration Technology’
Editor’s Note: What do you guys think of this device? Has anyone actually spent $5k+ on a Power Plate? Comment below.
Join the discussion 13 Comments
ive had sex on one :)
i lost 1kg, cause it shook the shit out of me…
If you reduce it in size & change the shape, you can have sex -with- one!
And thank you Clint, once again, for a no bullsh*t article. This giant vibrator-device has been pissing me off immensely.
What is is with women’s natural inclination to being so incredibly gullible?? Freud would probably say we have a natural inclination to all things vibrating. And I wish I could believe him, but no, women just generally refuse to accept the fact that you need to WORK to get the body that you want.
And I focus on women here, because I haven’t so far (and thank God for that) seen any men use this thing.
Just a few days ago this woman was doing “crunches”, in a warming vest whilst chatting on her cell… Really?!
BUT it has beautification benefits!!!! A regular workout cant make me pretty like this will…
I think since they are so cheap, I am going to buy two of them! I can put them back to back and put my mattress on top of them and use them while I sleep. I will wake up each day bigger, stronger, and leaner than ever! It’s going to be so awesome, I can’t wait!
I think the delivery guy should be required t kick you in the nuts for being such an assclown, after he drops it off at your house. This thing is just another gimmick for the something for nonethingers that are too lazy to actually put the work in to get the body that they desire. If you buy one of these things, you deserve to be an overweight lazyass with $5,000 less dollars and sore nuts!
$5k? Are you serious? Seems like Power Plate should be paying me $5k to take one of these off their hands.
At least you were burning calories :)
No pun intended?
I’m glad you enjoyed the article ;). It’s quite strange, I struggle to find ANYONE that actually uses these devices, and I train at a Fitness First. It’s as if they went a bought a whole heap of them, without researching their effectiveness.
I love promo videos. They are the source of constant article inspiration :)
Hahaha! Love it — Ass-clown is a term that I don’t use often enough. I will now. Just watch me.
I think they start at $5k and go up from there. Maybe its like an electric toothbrush — the more you pay, the more ‘vibrations’ per minute you get.
Its about time somebody said something about this most useless piece of shit spreading thereselves across gyms all over the world. I am living/working in Sri lanka at the moment and finally found a decent gym only to see one of these things tucked away and watched in horror as a guy, lets call him robust!, sat down on the plate for the best part of 25 minutes almost fell asleep, then got up had some water (obviously slightly dehydrated from his workout) weighed himself then went for a shower. How are companys allowed to market equipment that has no right to call itself a piece of exercise kit?
Tried one back a few years, and litterly got motion sickness. It was so wierd.
Nothing like good old dumbbells.
This is the right blog for anyone who wants to find out about this topic. You realize so much its almost hard to argue with you (not that I actually would want…HaHa). You definitely put a new spin on a topic thats been written about for years. Great stuff, just great!
For a start Power Plate is not proper Vibration Training. They are light Therapy machines…
I dare anybody to do my workout on a proper machine and say it isn’t intense
I used to be Power Plates Product manager years ago and left because the marketers had taken over the “science” along with a whole host of ethical issues.
But that is not the same as real Vibration Training not working for healthy people.
Wasnt this done in the 60,70,80s with those belts that would vibrate?
Remember seeing the housewives jiggling their fat thinking they were working out.
And there used to be one for the butt that was a giant roller you would sit on and it would jiggle the ass fat as it turned.
These things were madefor the Vic Tanny’s crowd.
jeff_albertson ….. How is a Vibration Plate like a massage belt ? …… You really that confused ?