Today’s internet LOL is proudly brought to you by abwavecanada.com.
I was surfing public access yesterday when I stumbled upon the latest in ‘sit on your arse and do absolutely nothing technology©’.
Though you see, that awesome quip up there isn’t quite as clever as it seems – the whole sit-and-get-fit thing is the EXACT marketing line that this bunch of snake-oil salesmen are choosing to run with.
It’s fun and it’s easy. Just sit and get fit!*
As you can probably tell, The Ab Wave is top-shelf Awesome™
If you’re reading this far, you’ve probably gathered that the sarcasm seeping out of this very review is in direct relation to the dollars seeping out of average-joe’s pocket as he lines up to place a down-payment of $14.95 USD on this piece of garbage.
Cost of the Ab Wave
$174.75 (1 x payment of $14.95 up front followed by 4 x $39.95 + your creditability + your soul).
Why I don’t ‘buy it’
If the fitness models on the infomercial are anything to go by, their ripped abs and core are once again, nothing to do with this machine.
The fact that that ‘line’ in quotes up there is followed by an ‘asterisk’ which clearly states:“*By adhering to the Ab Wave System which consists of adhering to a healthful meal plan, exercise on the Ab Wave machine, plus regular cardio or aerobic exercise. Your results may vary.” gives you an indication as to how low the marketers had to stoop to be able to pass this pile of dung off as a piece of exercise equipment.
That line is basically saying “If you train and eat properly, regardless of this machine, you’ll see results. But they may vary.”
Lucky they covered their arses with the ‘results may vary’ bit. For a minute there, I could have sworn that sitting on my backside whilst letting a machine do all the work for me would have given me the abs of ‘The Situation’.
The Ab Wave™ engineers should have built-in a cup-holder for jumbo coke and fries whilst they were at it.
But surely there’s a way one could DO EVEN LESS than have to ‘sit’ whilst exercising right? Can’t this machine literally lift me up from my pizza-induce-coma, dust off my bed sores and wipe my arse for me? Talk about dropping the f*cking ball!
So you’re saying there are no benefits of using the Ab Wave™?
There are benefits for sure – If you’re suffering from a heavy wallet or inflated bank account, this just might be the cure to your ills. Also, if you’re completely mental, looking for a quick-fix or haven’t been reading the gimmick section of the Crude website for very long, you MAY be inclined to part way with 175 clams.
The Ab Wave Pros
Straight from the marketing drivel…
#1 The Ab Wave is a great ab workout that you can do in a comfortable, seated position that’s WAY MORE FUN than crunches and leg raises!
Way more fun — as in, way less effective AND you get to look like a complete doofus whilst using it.
#2 Ab Wave™ helps you fire your core like never before!
‘Fire your core’? Seriously, what does this even mean? My fist will help ‘fire your face’.
#3 From the Easy Slide & Glide movement to the Total Body Twist & Turn motion, your body will go from frumpy to fabulous!
Easy Slide and Glide sounds like a lubricant. Are you sure we’re talking about the same ‘sit on your arse and do nothing’ technology© here?
#4 The Ab Wave™ incorporates movements that will rock your entire body and work your core, obliques, back, arms and legs!
I know a similar ‘movement’ that this statement reminds me of…
The Ab Wave Cons
#1 May reduce the risk of wealth
#2 May increase the total volume of useless sh*t in your basement
#3 Will increase your Dexterity by +4 and your Mana by +10! (only when coupled with a single hair plucked from the Evil Wizard’s pubic region).
Editor’s Note: What do you guys think of this device? Has anyone actually spent coin on the Ab Wave™? Comment below.
Absolutely Hysterical.
I am sorry that there doesn’t seem to be a seriouse response to the potential benifits of this machine for those recovering from seriouse illness and surgery. I think that it may provide a stepping stone in a persons recovery and flexability to allow them to build some strength, stamina, confidence and breathing……
I am recoverying from lung and stomach surgery, and have difficulty in maintaining any length in an exercise activity, am still expanding my lung to its new capacity and rebuilding my mucles that have been cut permenantly with no repair, damaged nerves and repairing rib……. Let alone the depleted muscle tone from long illness and infection……
I am keen to renew my body, strengthen it for longevity (I’m only 45?) and improve my current stamina, flexibility and re activate damamged muscles…..and this could be an assistance in that…but I can’t see any seriouse response on your website to advise of its usefulness.
Thanks for the comments Jody.
I’m very sorry to hear about your recent spate of illness, but the review on this piece of equipment is from the perspective that it’s marketing doesn’t target itself to someone such like you.
When a product masquerades itself as something that it isn’t, you’ll more often than not find me busting it as a ‘gimmick’ (which is obviously what I’ve done here).
I’ve no doubt that in some small way, this contraption “might” be able to assist you with rehabilitation.
Though I’m pretty certain, not even the creators of this product could answer that one — there would be a big fat ‘asterisk’ after their claims if this were so.
My advice would be to seek serious medical advice and definitely steer clear on the Ab Wave.
It might just be me, but I wouldn’t trust any such product to rehabilitate me after SERIOUS surgery.
Hope that helps.
Glad did a search and found your site as in Australia here TV adds like to rip us off here it is $19.95 down and they don’t tell the price but if is $170 there will at lest $300 here when told them before about other products that could get from USA they just say “O” they have more people so is cheaper as “can rip off more people” here we have to double the price not so many to rip off thanks for the review won’t waste my time ringing to find out more. Could make a ruff one cheaper with a welder and bit pipe bent.
Not a prob Kelly, glad to have helped you out :)
Punctuation please, Kelly
Hi i am guessing you are full able bodied. Yes? well thats good for you have you ever thought that someone that is active (that has never had a bed sores) but has a disability in their leg cant just go to the gym and work out as anyone else. that this could maybe help them get a little toner with out having a problem with their leg and things like that. yeah the price is crazy but it could work for some people. just a question..
I also agree that this product would probably be an utter waste of time and money for an able bodied person, but maybe for some of us could help get a little more mobile i have a neck injury and my abs got rather stuffed after surgery, cannot actually do sit ups or crunches so my core is stuffed, i too would hope to find some real info on this product but finding it very difficult, maybe they should market this to people unable to do “normal” exercise.
Thanks for your comments Sarah.
My POV still stands on over-marketed contraptions such as this. If you aren’t completely able, injured or recovering from surgery, there are better ways to spend your time rehabilitating yourself than flipping serious coin on something such as this. There are plenty of ways to build up strength and resistance without the use of machines to ‘do the work for you’. Machines such as the Ab Wave truly restrict range-of-motion which is all too important in any recovery scenario. You’d be best off like I said previously, seeking PT advice or the aid of a sports physio to assist you with defining a proper rehab program before even considering trusting your hard-earned $$ in something like this.
I must admit I lol’d at your review. Here in Australia they been playing this info-mercial pretty hard. I was channel flicking and ..being a product of the aerobics eighties…immediately recognised a voice…it saddens me that they have plucked Denise Austin out of retirement (though she doesn’t look like he’s changed much in the past 30 years..seriously how old was she when she started 5?) to promote this machine. After reading comments above, I would have to say that it may or may not have any impact of recovering rehabilitation, concerns come from any form of twisting of the spine, specially since your arms are anchored to the outer edges. If anything this is gunna give chiropractors more work lol…anywho, nice review, i’m enjoying it as it was intended ;) (lol and FYI its Mana not mantra ;P don’t wanna lose cred with the inert gamers out there haha)
Thanks for the comments :)… Mana has now been updated! (i clearly need to brush up on my gaming).
hi how much
wave how much
Hi Clint thank you so much for this site, I sadly purchased this pile of crap which here in Australia is a down payment of $19.95 and yes Kelly was close but try $399.60! Along with it comes some resistance bands a work out DVD( a joke in itself) a diet plan and a computer to measure how many times you clunk from side to side, how tragic , I am about to pack it all back in the box for my refund.
After I pay for the postage??? I could have probably just bought the resistance bands and tied them to the leg of a chair. In the workout video you get to do leg kicks while merely holding on to one of the side handles !!what a farce !!!! how she kept a straight face…..again i could have steadied myself holding on to the back of a chair and still had $400 for 5 months gym membership with good quality equipment plus a personal trainer on hand!!!!!
My advice to anyone who wants to buy this piece of junk(you are welcome to mine) I first suggest getting a little stool on castors and pushing yourself from one side of your office and or kitchen cabinets to the other this will induce just as much physical exertion, be twice as much more fun and wont cost you a fu##ing cent!!!!
Even the people on the other end of the phone have been brainwashed as they rave about it too, but perhaps they have the model with “the cup holder for jumbo fries and coke”!……..Cheers
LMAO. your review is great fun to read. Thanks for the laughs (and the good advice).
LMAO. your review is great fun to read. Thanks for the laughs (and the good advice).
thanks heaps for letting me know all about this i was down at my mother-inlaws place on the weekend when i saw this ad here in australia and seriously thought of buyig this todat as i was just about to ring em and purchase it when i decided to check it out on the internet first and i came across this site. Well if what u all say is true then i’m very very glad i found this site first as i literally have the phone in my hand, wow we need more things like this to know what we are getting ourselves in for before we buy so thanks heaps for the warning everyone much appreicated as i am a mother of 4 and am in need of some kind of exercise aid to help me get my health back due to constant sickness but i certainly don’t have the drop of a hat bank account they expect so thanks again ! CHEERS angie….
I’m from Aus too and also glad I found your site. Basically, Thanks and bloody funny ;-)
Hurrah!, I have now sent my Ab wave back… in the process of returning it, I was informed that someone would contact me within 48 hours, but probably sooner as it wasn’t that busy.
After waiting around for best part of the day, I began to think that I had waited long enough, I still wanted to organize a courier and if you consider that when I ordered the machine I was signed up incredibly within an hour of seeing it on TV!!!!
so why the delay, you ask for a simple return…..oh, but wait there’s more!!
I rang back late that same day and was put on hold while they checked to see if someone was free to give me a return code ( yes I am sure they were checking ,probably counting to ten with their hand on the receiver) ….then to my amazement they returned and asked if I was interested in keeping the product for half price!!!!
On my answer of NO! I was promptly given the return code (which I am sure they had all along)…..
PS. if you are crazy enough to still want the Ab wave just think you should actually get it for half price, because this is what they are prepared to get rid of them for in less than two week of the original order !!! This shows great faith in their product!!!!?
PPS. The courier to return it cost me $43 and took less than 48 hours door to door QLD to VIC (money well spent… bye bye ab wave)
good luck hope this helps :-)
Just woke up, had a coffee whilst sitting watching tv and saw the infommercial for this revolutionary piece of twisted metal. Wow , what a machine. If you watch the commercial it also removes tattoos magically. Notice the couple who used it together and his arm tattoo completely disappears. Still I won’t buy one. I don’t have any tattoos!
Hi Tim,
You forgot to mention how they all seem to become extremely tanned as well.
Funny observation, another reason not to try, oops i mean buy/rent if you get away with postage alone.
Thanks for the information you have just saved me money and just like everyone else I was captivated by late night info comercials about the AB Wave, just out of curiosity are all exercise machinery on info comercials gimmicks? Cheers a BIG WAVE from Australia….
Hi Clint,
Thanks for the “rap” on the Ab Wave and your great website. I saw the ad on TV this morning, curiously phoned them for a price, I didn’t come down in the last shower though. Their call centre told me “someone would phone me within 3 hours, they are very busy.” I gave them my mobile as I was going to my office shortly to catch up on paperwork.
Within about 10 minutes my home phone rang (incredible prompt service considering they were very busy) the guy asked me a number of quick questions and virtually insisted that I place an order, try the machine and if I don’t like it send it back within 30 days. Their phone script is ‘pretty slick’. It was so easy, just $19.95 for anywhere in Australia for postage and it will be delivered in 2 weeks, if I am happy at the end of 30 days they deduct 3 monthly payments from my credit card for $133.20 each. I asked how much the return frieght would be and he commented that they get a bulk price as they sell so many and my cost wouild be a bit more from Bundaberg to Melbourne.
I told the guy that I recently saw the Ab Circle Pro advertised in the Big W catalogue and we were going buy one for about $298 as it “looked ok”. Well I used my women’s intuition that I have caught from my partner Trish after many years and did a Google on it. Just as well, I read many reports which all said it was crap as parts break and wear out quickly – not worth the money.
As Trish is interstate visiting family I thought I should phone her when I finish my paperwork this evening to tell her about this ‘great investment’ I was going to try out for $20 and nothing to lose if it is crap. Well she just happened to see it on tv this morning as well and guys you know what it’s like sometimes???? When the dust settled I told her I would cancel the order immediately and life would be normal again.
Before I phoned the TV Shop I thought I would Google Ab Wave to see if their were any reports or websites on it. The first one I read was Dr Bill of Health well this report said it all !!! Next I read your comments and those posted as well, I especially loved the 2 comments by Loxy of the 10th and 16th June 2012. Her story is sounding similar to how mine is starting.
I phoned the TV shop tonight to cancel my order, greeted by an excited male voice which suddenly changed tone when I explained I had made an order today an wanted to cancel. I was given another number to phone tomorrow 1800 222684 as they only operate during business hours Monday to Friday and I need to provide my order number.
I may get lucky on Monday and speak to the same person that Loxy had and get a half price unit!
Clint again thankyou so much for the access to your website and to all those who have contributed valuable comments. I will send an update through the week regarding my cancelation, maybe I too can help a future buyer before they get ‘caught’.
At least the BUNDY BEAR and Bundy Rum are real.
A huge thankyou as i was thinking abt buying the ab wave but thought i would check out your site. Could you please suggest what kind of exercise equipment would give me and my son who are both overweight the best workout .Thanks Deb
Hi Clint! We bought the Ab Wave for the trial price….of $20 (we are in Australia)… and it arrived quite quickly (within a week we had it)… however, after unpacking it, assembling it and trying it out for about a fortnight… (again with the whole system of a healthy diet and regular exercise-ie: walking 4 times a week) as well as using the Ab Wave!
The results were very disappointing, in fact, there was no weight or fat loss at all! The only thing the Ab Wave achieved was to aggrevate old injuries (for Melissa her back and shins and me my knee)! We didn’t bother to try and return it, I just simply cancelled my card and re-ordered a new one! We are now trying to sell it, if we can’t, we will simply throw it in the bin….as we don’t want it or need it anymore! We have achieved better results with our bike rides and walks since then! :)
Um, just some words of advice from an Australian lawyer regarding you just cancelling your card Be aware you’ll be in breach of contract and liable for suit in breach of contract, but also for theft charges (which are criminal). if you then do sell the item, you’ll be liable for criminal charges of obtaining financial advantage by deception (even if you don’t make a profit).
Cheers
Love your response! Can’t believe the nerve of some people!
False advertisement. Product doesn’t do as intended. The catch of paying for freight to prevent returning it. Ou of pocket expense they should pay therefore changing credit card and telling them to pick the product up themselves. If they’re lucky I won’t charge them for setting the machine up for them.
Absolute crap and I’m on lite n easy – kilos falling off but no ab burn even after going hard all day on the stupid thing. Does not work at all
Good warning as people may not consider these things and just get annoyed, cancel cards and wind up in a lot of drama. This could also be why the purchase price is so high, it covers the ‘non-paying’ percentage of customers and dept collection costs perhaps.
I had thought this AbWave may be good for a family member who is unable to put strain on legs/knees…but the rational points raised here do suggest otherwise. When it sounds too good to be true, it usually is I guess!
I was surprised that you didnt try to return it. Wouldnt the vendor have your last known address to send a debt collector? Ayone who buys it from you is probalby up for being charged for recieving stolen goods.
I am of the opinion that if they need to try to brainwash you for 15 minutes or so (whatever the length of the info-mercial), then it’s probably not worth wasting your money on.
I really appreciate seeing how ab wave can do away with all the unwanted fats that are on me, am from the Solomon Islands and would be very interested to find out how i can purchase this machine.
Here I’ll sell you mine for $400 plus FREE STEAK KNIVES!!!
Piece of shit it is. I tested it ALLLLL DAY and couldn’t feel a thing to my abs … and I’ve had a baby recently… My abs AREN’T at all FIT!
Total gimmick. Changing my credit cars number to prevent them taking anything out. I’m NOT paying to send it back. FALSE ADVERTISING
First time I saw this way today at my sister-in-laws place – fresh out of the box. Like every other piece of “ab equipment” it does one movement & one movement only & in this casae only “works” (and I say that loosely) your obliques (kind of).If you have some money to spend grab a good firm foam mat (I have a good 3inch one from Rebel Sports (Australia) – check out what Clint has here or check out Youtube – I do at least 5 differnt ab exercises a day focussing on all area and vary that week by week. You really don’t need any of these machines.
I would like to thank you all for your comments I also was seriously thinking of purchasing the Ab Wave but decided at the last minute to check it out on the net and came up with your wonderful site thanks Clint. I knew there would be a ‘catch’ with the price which was $19.90 Australian for the first 30 days…my question….then what?? So pleased I checked this out first. I think I will stick to walking/running and eating healthy…I dont think there are any quick fixes it just takes time and persistence. Appreciate the comments from you all…..Sue
If i realy worked it would stand in every fitness school but it aint.
No one here seems to have actually tied the machine or used it for any length of time so no point reading the reviews unless they are based on the experience of trying it.
So you’re basically saying that you need to try heroin yourself before you can have an opinion on how bad it is for you.
Thanks for the reviews especially to Loxy. I rang 1800 844 844 few minutes ago with the intention to order one ( credit card ready ! ) but at last minute decided to google search Ab wave’s reviews and actually someone tried to ring me back whilst I was reading the comments posted on here and decided not to take the call after reading Loxy’s posts. Thanks Loxy.
I will just continue my daily walks at the trail and log in the calories taken at My Fitness Pal website which are both free !
I am optimistic of the outcome. Already I have lost 0.6 kgs in a week by sticking to 1200 calories daily intake and 2.5 km walk at the fitness trail.
Contemplating of buying Total Gym Shaper. But wll check reviews first.
Thanks for sites like these which save desperate people like me wasting money on useless gear.
Cheers
Infomercials like this used to infuriate me. Now I just laugh at the absurdity of it all, but it’s still sad to think they can’t keep producing stuff like this if some people didn’t actually buy into the marketing.
Thanks for the review, made it enjoyable to find out how much of a scam this product is like all their others plus I’m a big fan of sarcasm. Nice gaming reference at the end too xD
spent nearly 3 days trying to find the AB Wave… I was starting to think that I dreamed it up when I couldn’t find it on tv or on the net anywhere lol. Finally my WIFE found the youtube video and started asking how much it is, We looked on ebay and saw some for around $200 but we were wondering what the cost was for a new one and googled again to come up with your site CHEERS… I am so glad I didn’t get one now but if someone wants to donate theirs I am sure I can find a use for it (a boat anchor maybe lol… Is there any equiptment that actually will help with some weight loss?? cheers again ppl
the ab wave I brought for approx $400 is worhless I didn't feel jacksh*t for 10 minutes by then it was so boring I never got on it again…don't waste your money on it tv shop complaints…huh, they will send you to trade me to sell on…its a big joke I lost more weight looking at it..dam scammers rippin up my pockets and peoples lives trust me its A WASTE OF TIME HAVING…best for me was the ab circle but it was noisy and mist couple key points…like fun…i could design a better one these scammers must be deaf from listening to their crap 24.
omg!!! thankyou so much for info on the abwave…. i almost fell for the sales pitch as well….my son has autism and will not engage in any physical activity, at 11yrs. he is starting to look very plump and i am feeling like a failure as a parent for not being able to engage him in healthy activities. thankyou again for all the posts that helped me to not waste our money on junk……peace out
Glad to be of service
They call it “wave” for a reason. Watch the wave motion as they slide on it. The whole frame flexes from the person’s weight. You better be a featherweight before you sit on it.
This “dream machine” has just been advertised on Australian TV. Just thought I would let you know that it is being retailed out at $398.00. I wonder how many gullible Aussies will fall for this gimmick?!?
Cheers Trish – I just ‘might’ have to write about that one too :)
I got mine for 18.95 delivered on EBay That’s AUD I use mine in conjunction with my vibration plate machine and resistance bands 4 months now and I’ve dropped from a size 14 Aus back down to a size 10 ( too much lazing about the house ) Use some common sense You won’t suddenly lose 50 kilo’s and look like a super model This isn’t a miracle machine It does help though
I HAVE AND ABWAVE AND ITS WORKING FOR ME. Especially in back and sides. I don’t want a big muscle machine, i can’t lift heavy stuff or stand up for long times. The machine works by using your own weight to move side to side. Like belly dancing or hula hoop. If you’re already thin as a stick then it won’t do anything for you. if your after muscle mass then no. Its more for staying toned and keeping muscles active. If you’ve never excersised before then it is difficult at first, but it doesn’t make you feel so much pain you can’t move the next day. this is for daily use. and light to medium. if you belly dance, you’d understand this machine.
Yeah, me too I bought one to use in combination with my vibration platform machine I use each one 3 days a week with a day off I’ve lost 9 kilo’s and I don’t remember a workout like this since my younger days at the dojo doing karate It’s no miracle just use it regularly and with a good diet
what a fucking douche bag
Hi guys, im in nz. I am a stay at home mother of two. my husband bought the total gym off the as seen on tv shop for me to exercise at home as we didn’t have a gym that was close by. we received the ab wave as a freebie with the total gym. I used the ab wave as my exercise machine of choice.. I used it for 1 month… it didn’t really help me lose anything it just gave me sore arms and an extra seat to sit on in the lounge… I ended up giving it away.